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Thursday, April 08, 2004
Those days

He looked around for her at the station, and saw her running towards him with her arms outstretched. He knew the thoughts of his departure would cross his mind the moment he saw her.

And it did.

There are three days between today and the day of departure, he consoled himself.

From then on, they were inseparable. He surprised her with a quick kiss on the lips. It was their first. There were more to come.

As the day turned to night, he began to wish that time would stop. Stop for a long time, so long that every minute would stretch into an hour, every hour into a day, every day into a year.

He was surprised to see himself in a new persona. She was surprised at her new-found poise that did not show any hint of her former coyness. They fell in love all over again.

Water bounced off their bodies when they stood under the shower. They looked at each other with expressions that defied description. Focussed, yet dreamy-eyed, with a concentration that refused to cow down to the sexuality that was generated by their semi-naked bodies.

Nights found them unable to keep their hand...and lips off each other. Legs locked legs while arms caressed, roamed and discovered the shape of each others' bodies. The frenzy mounted with each touch. A virginal frenzy that neither had experienced before.

Feelings of guilt crossed their minds once, but they knew that they did not cross the line they had set for themselves. Passion had egged them closer to their pre-determined limit, but they knew where to stop.

The swiftness with which time elapsed was cursed many a time. When he held her in his arms, time stood still. But when they went out, a few hours rushed past like a few minutes. Time flies, did you say?

As the day came closer, he began to despair. With every passing hour, the despair grew with excruciating slowness.

It was time to go.

Few words were spoken. Words were not necessary. Thoughts were mirrored in each others' faces.

As he boarded the train, he wished he could take her with him. Or stay back.

He knew neither was possible.

As the train ate away at the distance separating him from home, as the language of communication changed to the one he was familiar with, he felt no joy.

He was returning home. But that was of no consequence.

Home is where the heart is.

He left his with her.


Posted at 11:37 pm by Newton/Apple

Wednesday, April 07, 2004
The Dance Of Passion

Heads bobbing to the music,
Taut hearts,
Constricted pulse,
A trance,
An adrenaline rush,
Like the filling up of senses.
Everything moved to the beat of the music,
Like faithful followers,
Devoted denizens,

Heads bobbing to the music,
Beads brushed against stone floors,
Feet caressed each other,
The room pulsated like a rapidly beating heart,
Steady yet frantic,
A metaphor of the lust it held within,

Heads bobbing to the music,
Smoke swirls inflated miniscule spaces,
And dependencies,
Reality vaporized like a perfume,
Everything was set ablaze in a steady flame of desire.
An uneasy guest to this fervor,
To this magic,

Heads bobbing to the music,
A disturbance dipped into this hypnosis,
With his utterance of words -
Verbal saviors of the sedated,
Slapping sense out of some,

A war ensued,
Amongst entwined bodies,
Lying around like twin corpses,
They laughed,
Flickering emotions,
Too uncertain themselves,
Surrendered to the dance of survival

Posted at 09:30 pm by Newton/Apple

Saturday, March 13, 2004
I Miss You By The Minute... I Miss You By The Mile...

I believed love was for losers...
I opposed emotional independence...
I *knew* love could only hurt...
I laughed at people who said long-distance relationships are difficult... Why should anyone want to give up their own space was my question...
I was cock-sure of what I wanted...
Compromise was not a part of my dictionary...

And then I fell for him... And now almost my entire life revolves around him.

... The constant craving to be with him...
... The need to tell him everything...
... The feeling of being so full of love that it hurts...
... The huge telephone bills... And the guilt that comes with it...

Long distance relationships are definitely not fun...Phone calls, chats and mails might be great ways of communication... But nothing can replace the feeling of having someone around in person.

Someone kidnap him and get him here!!!

Posted at 07:19 pm by Newton/Apple

Saturday, February 28, 2004
Things left unsaid

There are so many things I want to say.

But I leave them unsaid because of a single problem.

I forget.

Is it because I think of you all the time?


Posted at 10:53 am by Newton/Apple

Friday, February 27, 2004
Ghost Of A Poem!

Thought should post it before I lose it.:D:D:D

sometimes when I close my eyes, and stay awake
not an insomniac, not yet in quietus...
amidst a few memories and moments that flood me,
stolen, dwelt, candid and precious
those petite thoughts and star-gazing
a starlit roof and the world underneath..
Past, perfect and future tense...
the future always seeming so inconsequential...
your dulcet voice rings clear, still vivid...
and I fell in love, that day...

words always felt miserably inadequate...
I knew I should not feel sorry...
what I had with me, was my dappled sunshine
and all my pain, unrequited yet mine
I just held it all together,
and I knew I'd never love again

today as I stand before yesterdays ghost...
and I read your voice from my very eyes..
I treasure every single word you write...
and find solace in the mere acceptance of my existence
for I am happy with the wisdom and the innocence,
of someone who knows nothing at all...
flowers or stars don't matter anymore...
it doesn't matter if you go away...
and I am alone again...
I am still very much in love with that day

Posted at 08:29 pm by Newton/Apple

Wednesday, February 18, 2004
The Verdict

I love you... You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Words will never be able to express my feelings... Need I say more?

Posted at 07:44 pm by Newton/Apple

Monday, February 02, 2004
Stay The Same

"We don't love qualities, we love persons... Sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities."
-Jacques Maritian

For me loving someone means accepting him the way he is... Because I wouldn't love him if I want him any different from what he is. That would mean being in love with my idea of what love should be like... It would become more about the unimportant things than the person himself...

Stay The Same had been anthem for 4 years... Somehwere down the line I forgot all about it. Let's sing it together for once... You for me and I for you... And everytime you don't like yourself much, come back and read this.

The reason why you are what you are is good enough... Even if it isn't obvious.

And just one more thing... More than anything else, I want to be your friend... That's the most dificult part. The rest can and will follow.

S M I L E. *grin*


Stay The Same
-Joe McIntyre

Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.

I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.

Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.

Posted at 03:31 pm by Newton/Apple

Friday, January 30, 2004
If you want something really badly...

You will get it somehow.

There were times when I got what I wanted. Most of the time after some delay and never otherwise.

There were times when I asked myself why. Why was it that I never got what I wanted when I wanted them.

Only to console myself that I probably did not need it. And that if I do, I would get it. After some time. After a long time.

Maybe never.

It was the same with love. Maybe after some time. Maybe after a long time.

And then, I decided it was never going to happen again.

Till you came.


Posted at 05:54 pm by Newton/Apple

Do You Feel The Same?

Eternal Flame
-The Bangles

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating
Do you understand
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Is this burning an eternal flame

I believe it's meant to be, darling
I watch you when you are sleeping
You belong with me
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame

Say my name, sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely
And then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling

Posted at 04:43 pm by Newton/Apple

Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Right Here Waiting

I have lost my loved ones way too often... Di, my uncle, Avnish... And then S... And every time the void only became deeper. Sometimes I seriously wonder if it has made me a little looney in the head! *grin* It's definitely not as funny as it sounded.

Probably that is why my insecurity takes a toll on me at times. The fact that feelings can be so strong from such a distance surprises me. No one makes me feel the way you make me feel! *grin*

I guess you were right when you said all this insecurity will vanish once I meet you... I can't wait to meet you... My Jill-Special hug is sick and tired of waiting for the right person to come along. And now it's getting sick and tired of waiting for YOU!


Posted at 02:13 pm by Newton/Apple

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